At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
