I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
