i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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