May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
