garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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