the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is the high leading the old right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
