Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
