i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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