Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
