your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
