i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
