Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
