I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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