We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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