is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
