I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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