Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
