3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
