So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
