he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
