Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
