no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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