she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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