Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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