so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
