Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
