Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
