i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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