fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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