Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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