I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Drunk is a universal language darling
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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