But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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