this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize