I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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