I smell stomach acid.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
