Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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