Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
