Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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