i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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