I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
