Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
