If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
