Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
