you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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