he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground