yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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