South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
