I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tell her she can't have a vagina
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
