some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
