I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
