She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
