Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
