Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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