finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
