Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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