I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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