new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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