It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
