Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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