I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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