bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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