Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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