How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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