She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
