I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
