She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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