Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
