Cold hands, warm shart.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
