I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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